Corey Dolls©

The new product line due to come out for Christmas 2008:

1. Snorting Coke off of a Public Toilet Seat Corey Doll - Comes complete with public bathroom funset!

2. Experimenting With Gender & Sexuality Corey Doll - Comes complete with a selection of mini skirts, tank tops, Corey Brand fishnet stockings, wigs, make up, feather boas and 10cm glittery platform heels. Drag club sold separately.

3. Desperate Crack Addict Corey Doll - Comes complete with laptop ready for Corey to sell his hair and teeth on ebay to feed his crack habit!

4. Sobbing Emo Corey Doll with Free Corey Brand Razor Blade

5. Let's Try Different Careers Range Corey Dolls including Exclusive Limited Edition Zoo-keeper Corey with Real Faeces-Smeared Uniform - Corey Squeals when you Smear his Face with Faeces!

6. Stand By Me Corey Doll Complete with Former Glory On-set Publicity Shots (Friends of Corey Also Available in this Range, Sold Separately)

7. The Lost Boys Corey Doll Complete with Former Glory On-set Publicity Shots (Friends of Corey Also Available in this Range, Sold Separately)

8. Sleeping Layabout Corey Complete with Sleeping Layabout Corey Couch and Newspaper

9. Seedy Club Bathroom Blowjob Corey Complete with Lipstick in "Head Red" to apply onto Corey's mouth

10. STD Clinic Corey - Comes in a selection of STDs! Genital Warts Corey, Genital Herpes Corey, Chlamydia Corey and Crabs Corey Available Now! STD Clinic sold separately.

11. Bondage Bitch Corey - Comes with an S&M dungeon, Corey Brand S&M Funtime Gear, both Coreys and a selection of Subs and Doms!

12. Country Club Corey Complete with golf clubs, a selection of Corey Brand Fashion Fun Vests, 20 Bottles of Chardonnay and Country Club Mascot Mr. Werewolf

13. Minimum Wage First Job Starting Out in L.A Corey Doll Complete with Nondescript Supermarket Uniform, Nondescript Serving Counter and Misspelled Name-tag. Abusive Customers Sold Separately!

14. Gotti Gotti Corey with Gotti Gotti Guido Gay Boy Friends - Gotti Gotti Guido New Jersey Night Club sold separately

15. Corey & Friends Toga Party Set - Comes with:
-A selection of Friends of The Coreys©
-Blood and Alcohol-Soaked Togas
-Party House
-Miniature Liquor Bottles containing real liquor! Such as Corey Brand Tequila, Vodka, Beer, etc.
-A selection of A-class Drugs, including Corey Doll© brand coke, smack, PCP, acid, and pot
-Two Exclusive Special Edition Corey Brand Crack Pipes

16. Special Edition Blue O'D Corey - Comes with a real syringe sticking out of Corey's arm!

17. Cyclist Collision with Bus Corey, Complete with Special Edition Broken and Bent Corey, Twisted Bicycle and Large Bus. "Too Late To Save Him" Ambulance with Paramedics sold separately.

18. Drunken Flaming Car Wreck Corey - See Your Corey Doll Die A Glorious Death Similar To Fellow American Hero James Dean's! Set comes complete with a Special Edition Corey Doll and Red Convertible coated in Flammable Substance. "Too Late To Save Him" Ambulance with Paramedics sold separately.

19. Funereal Corey Doll Complete with Real Corey Tears, Sackloth, Dead Body and Funeral Pyre

More coming soon! Pre-order these limited edition Corey Dolls© for your kids today!

The Saga of Batman, Robin, & The Coreys (Part One).

Chapter I: In Which Contemplation is Plentiful

Robin could hear the throbbing rhythms. He felt them pulsing in his veins. He remembered the last time. The feelings of freedom - of shamelessness.
He wondered if Batman would say yes.

Robin glanced hesitantly across the room over to his superior. The dark masked bat knight was deep in contemplation. Robin thought he rather looked like a painting of Atlas he had once seen.
"Batman?" Robin said, not wanting to break the bat's concentration but yearning so badly for the beats and rhythms that he could not help it.

Batman slowly looked up. "Yes, Robin?" His rubber suit squeaked with his movement. A surge of - something - he couldn't quite place the feeling - went through Robin.

"Batman...I was wondering..." Robin stumbled over his words.

"Yes, young Robin?" Batman said kindly.

Robin sighed. He felt Batman's eyes on him, and took his tone as slightly patronising, which Robin disliked. But there was that feeling again. The feeling that maybe he liked it.

Robin pushed his feelings aside and willed the words out with all the force he could muster. "Batman, I was wondering if we could maybe go to a rave."

"A rave?" Batman said in surprise. "A...rave?"

Silence fell.

"What is this...rave, Robin?"

Robin broke eye contact with Batman. How could he explain it, really? It was the most magical thing...place...experience on earth.

"Well, Batman, it's a place where many people gather to...dance, and they wear fluorescent boots, fluorescent weaves, fluorescent make up - " the excitement was building in Robin's voice - "Fluorescent hot pants, fluorescent...GLOW STICKS!!" He gasped for breath, ready to describe more of the wonder to Batman.

"Robin. Robin."

"...yes, Batman?"

"How...how did you know about this, this so-called "rave", Robin? Have you been sneaking out behind my back? Behind Alfred's back?"

Robin thought that this might happen. How could he allay Batman's suspicions while keeping his good temper?

He thought fast. "Batman, Batman," Robin chuckled reassuringly, "of course not! I would never crawl out of our bed, unauthorised, before or after the witching hour!"

Batman smiled with relief.

Robin was even more relieved. He was glad that Batman had bought his story - when in truth, Robin had actually once spiked Batman's nightly English Breakfast Tea with a pill from a bottle he'd found, labelled "Rohypnol". It had sent Batman into a deep slumber, as Robin had hoped it would; he quickly sneaked out into the night. Curiously, the bottle also had "ROBIN" scrawled on it, but Robin himself thought nothing of it at the time and continued to do so.

"So...how do you know about it, then, Robin?"

"Oh, I, ah - many places, really, the television, you know, rumours and things."

"Ah," was Batman's single response. He sipped his tea, letting the tension behind Robin's unanswered question mount.

After staring out of the huge window of his immense study for several moments, Batman finally turned to Robin and answered.

"Sure, I mean...I guess," Batman shrugged and put his tea down. "Alfred is always saying that I must try new things."

Robin gasped with delight. "Oh Batman, it would be ever so wonderful! Well then...let's get some outfits!"

"Will we have time?" Batman frowned.

"Of course!" Robin squealed. "We don't even have to go to the mall. Do you have any old Batman suits, Batman?"

"Well, yes, I have many..."

"Fantastic. We'll get Alfred in here and alter the old suit so that no one will know it was originally a Batman suit. Oh, they'll think you're being delightfully camp!" Robin giggled.

Batman raised an eyebrow at this last word, but let it pass.

Chapter II: In Which A Rave Costume is Born

"Right!"

Robin flung the doors of Batman's spacious closet open. Black rubber suit after black rubber suit came into view, as well as a solitary tuxedo. Batman entered, and stood beside Robin. He could feel the heat emanating from Batman's rubber-clad body, but chose to put it out of his mind for the moment. He had a mission.

"Batman!" Robin exclaimed. "Which of these can we cut up?"

"Errrm..." Batman went straight to the back of the closet and pulled out a box labelled "OLD BATMAN SUITS."

"Wonderful!" Robin clapped his hands gleefully. "Now, do you have any...fluorescents?"

"What do you mean?" Batman asked, frowning slightly. It was somewhat odd to see Robin so excited and enthused. He was usually so quiet and inexpressive.

"Well, you know, like...fake fur, hair mascara, extensions ?" Robin asked.

"I believe I have something."

Batman and Robin turned around to where the voice was coming from. A small, stout, tuxedoed man stood in the doorway.

"Alfred!" They exclaimed in unison and went to greet him.

The older man smiled. "Yes, sirs. I believe this might be just the ticket."
From behind his back, Alfred revealed a large box covered in fluorescent stripes of all colours. Robin gasped. It couldn't be...

And yet, it was. Alfred removed the lid of the box, revealing bright fluff for Africa. There were hair extensions, fluorescent eyeshadow, hair mascara, some E, bright stockings of all colours, and many accessories made of plastic.
"I was quite the raver in my time," Alfred chuckled confidentially.

He exhumed a pair of bright orange fluffy raver boots from the box and held them as if they were a treasured teddy bear. "My, I had a lot of fun in these," he said fondly.

Robin, and especially Alfred, cut, sewed and glued away until the transformation from old crime-fighting suit into hot new ravesuit was complete. Finally, its formerly completely black surface was covered in fluorescent gemstones, sequins, faux fur, plastic accessories, and many other wonders from Alfred's Rave Box.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to come?" Batman asked.

"Ohh, no, Batman, don't be daft!" Alfred laughed kindly. "I think we can both agree that I'm a bit long in the tooth for this lark. Now, get undressed and I'll help you into your outfit."

While Batman uncertainly slid into his new suit with the aid of Alfred and some talcum powder, Robin was getting ready in the en suite bathroom. Although they lived in a very large house, he and Batman shared a bedroom and bathroom, and therefore it was very familiar to him and contained all his things.

Robin ended up by taking even longer than Batman to get ready, and after about an hour, Alfred and Batman were calling him.

Robin stepped out to their calls in full rave regalia. They gasped as they beheld his astonishing body. He was donned head to toe in fluorescent green, yellow and pink - it could have been red - complete with pink fluffy fairy wings. His incredible hair extensions almost seemed to glow in the fading evening light. They drew the eye down to his breathtaking make-up, which he had proudly applied himself. His faux eyelashes made him look androgynously beautiful, and they drew attention to his eyelids, which were coated in thick black eyeliner and stripes of fluorescent yellow, green and pink. Finally, one was able to comprehend his actual outfit. His amazing clear-plastic corset was a shockingly bright green, and had pink laces. It was truly a sight to behold, and it complimented Robin's figure so nicely, as did his matching hot pants. So short were they that Batman blushed under his mask when he caught sight of them. Grandest of all, however, were Robin's absolutely stunning fluorescent pink fluffy raver boots. Although it was not in the centre of the outfit, it was certainly the centrepiece. Robin was very proud of his choices, and this pride showed in the care with which he had applied his many adornments.

However, what Robin had failed to realise when he purchased the outfit was that it was actually for a female. As an experienced raver, Alfred had noticed this immediately, and Batman was also soon aware. However, neither of them uttered a word, as it surely would have humiliated Robin more than they wanted to see, and they certainly did not want to be the cause of it.

Finally, they were ready to go. For some reason, Robin felt as if he would perhaps meet his destiny tonight. All he had to do was let it happen.

TO BE CONTINUED
WHEN I CAN BE ARSED

Feldman, Haim, Batman & Robin's Ribald Encounter.

I should explain, really. My friend and I have a thing about Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. Well, I wouldn't call it a "thing", really. It's more of an obsession.
It's not as if we love them or anything. No, we think they're a pair of washed up hasbeen losers.

The Coreys Encounter Batman

a Stupid Story I wrote via text for a friend's entertainment.


One day the Coreys, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, were walking through a pine forest high on crack. Corey said, "I need more crack! Corey! Give me the crack pipe and the lighter!" So Corey gave Corey the crack pipe and lighter. But Corey was so high that he accidentally set his own face on fire! "OH NO MY FACE MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!" Corey screamed.
"OH NO COREY WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO COREY, WE NEED YOUR PRECIOUS FACE COREY!!!" Corey yelled.

Suddenly they heard a noisy car.
"Oh my gentle Jesus!" Corey gasped, "it's BATMAN!"
"Um, I'm here too, you know," Robin said in annoyance, scowling. But Corey had eyes only for Batman. He shoved Robin out of the way and ran to hug Batman.
"Oh Batman, thank god you're here!" Corey exclaimed, squeezing Batman hard.
"Now now, Corey, there'll be time for that later," Batman smiled, and with that, he whipped his hose out and sprayed all over Corey's face.
Amazingly, the fire was put out by this enormous splurge and even more amazingly, there was absolutely no damage to Corey's beautiful face.
"Oh thank you SO MUCH Batman! WE LOVE YOU!" the Coreys exclaimed.
Batman smiled. "And how are you going to pay me back?"
They all grinned at each other. Corey whipped out his crack pipe and Batman whipped out his hose.
"LET'S GANG RAPE ROBIN!!!!! YAY!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~ENDUT~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hell Hath No Batmobile Like A Batman Scorned.

I was inspired to write this by my most excellent chum and compadre, Daniel (also known as Corey Haim). I must also credit Miss S., as she provided the ideas behind the food and alcoholic beverage selections.

A Batman Scorned

Batman & Robin are solvin' some crime, popping baddies' tires and that. There is unspoken sexual tension between the pair of crimefighting buddies, but neither of them have gotten up the nerve to make some action. But it is somewhat understood that it is Robin who has the boner for Batman, who enjoys this quiet affection but has never returned it quite in the way Robin would like.
They are driving home from their latest escapade when Robin suddenly sees the most incredibly beautiful mango in the green grocer's. This mango is luscious and smooth, with a perfect balance of green and red or whatever colour mangos are.
His mind stops in its tracks, entranced by this gorgeous mango. "I must have it," he thinks.
Batman, out of the corner of his eye, cannot help but notice Robin staring at this fruit. "What's going on here?" he wonders. "Usually Robin stares at MY smooth round pantsmango after a night of hard hot crime."

Chapter Two

"Alfred, fetch me some fruit juice would you, old chap?" Robin said as soon as they arrived home at the Bat Cave.
"Certainly, young Robin," Alfred the butler replied, but not without arching an eyebrow in bemusement.
Batman observed this brief exchange and frowned. Usually HE was the one giving orders. He suddenly thought back to last Saturday's S&M orgy. Alfred took his orders then, oh yes he did.

Batman and Robin went to the drawing room and stripped off their crimefighting suits. Batman's was made of black rubber and leather. The leather was for the sex appeal; the rubber was because he sometimes had accidents on the job. Robin's was made of bright green, yellow and red lycra. He wasn't really sure why.
Batman, watching Robin undressing, noticed the strange dreamy expression on his face. Batman frowned once again. Usually Robin could barely tear his eyes away when Batman undressed himself, especially when he rubbed the lotion on his skin. Batman's mind drifted back to the day he told Robin that if he didn't rub the lotion on his skin, he would get the hose. He tenderly remembered the boyish fear in Robin's eyes at the moment of imagining the hose.

Of course, it was nothing like the look in his eyes when he imagined Batman's hose. That had been a look of lust and wonderment. This sudden thought jolted Batman back to the present moment. Robin WASN'T looking at Batman's hose, and Batman suddenly, unexpectedly, felt hurt.
They sat naked in their leather chairs, just like they always did every Sunday. Their skin, still sticky from the chase, stuck to the chairs. It was not an unpleasant feeling. Batman always enjoyed it, and he knew that Robin did too.

Robin sat, staring into the fire as he sipped his chilled fruit juice. The feeling of the cold liquid going down his throat was most sensual and he felt goose bumps rise on his arms. He could taste the mango, and he closed his eyes as a rush of ecstasy came over him.
His eyes suddenly shot open and he glanced in Batman's direction. "I must not let him see me like this," Robin thought, quickly glancing back at the fire.
Batman saw it all though, because he had secret eyes in the back of his head.
"Should I tell Robin how I feel?" he wondered.

Chapter Three

"Batman, I'm just popping out for a bit, is that okay? Do you need me for anything?" Robin asked the next morning, on his way out.
There was a brief silence in the air before Batman replied. The tension from last night had only grown. Batman had stayed up late into the night, waiting for Robin to sneak into his room for a spoon, as he always did, but last night he did not. The disappointment Batman felt was immense.
"No, Robin, that's fine. Have fun." Batman stared into his drink resignedly. He was sitting in the dark library.
"Super!" Robin exclaimed in excitement. Then, realising that he had to hide this, he tried to play it down by saying, "Erm, I'm only really going for some Pop Tarts. I just can't get enough of them lately, I'm so glad you introduced them to me. I'll get you some pickled eggs and fruit loaf, I know how much you enjoy them."
Batman closed his eyes in pain. He knew Robin was lying. He probably wouldn't even remember to get the wonderful pickled eggs. In a pained voice, he managed to utter, "Okay, Robin. Thank you. I'll see you later." He heard the door slam shut as Robin yelled "bye!"

~*~

Robin almost ran down to the green grocer's, he was so excited to see his mango. He skipped joyfully down the road in his green and yellow superboots. His green cape blew behind him jauntily in the wind. It matched his mood.
"I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love!" he thought as he skipped. He felt like singing it. "And finally, with someone who will return my affections. Not like Batman. Oh the pain that man has caused me..."
Robin finally arrived at the Foddertwon green grocer. He saw the mango glistening in the sunlight. It was so beautiful that it made tears spring to his eyes. He longed to hold it in his hands and caress it. He breathed in deeply. "Only a few more moments before I hold you in my arms," he thought.
He reached the front of the queue.
"Yes, sir?" the green grocer asked.
Robin took another deep breath. "A mango, please," he said, and lifting his quivering arm, pointed. "That one, please."
The green grocer raised an eyebrow and smiled. He could see that young Robin was in love. And he knew what that was like, being an out vegesexual himself.
"Okay then, young man. That will be one dollar."
Robin handed over his dollar and the anticipation almost caused him to hyperventilate. Finally he held his mango. Its cool, smooth skin felt like heaven against his hands. Robin gasped, closing his eyes. He rushed out of Foddertwon and down an alley, where rubbed one out with the mango. It was so much better than using a Pantene bottle. He had never felt so happy in his life.

Chapter Four

Back at the Bat Cave, Batman was succumbing to drunkenness. He had been drinking since Robin left and now, three hours later, he was still sitting in the library, heavily drunk on strawberry daiquiris, pina coladas and wine coolers. Alfred had been watching him with concern but knew not to get close to the big black crimefighter when he was in this state.
Batman stared at the TV. It was the news, something about a controversy called Corngate. But Batman was so depressed that he couldn't even think about solving crime. He switched the channel. It was Bob Saget in some extraordinarily tight pants.
Batman burst into tears. It reminded him of Robin. He stabbed the remote with his finger, flipping through a Village People video, Steve Urkel, and Step by Step. He finally landed on Home Improvement and left it, as it wasn't quite gay enough to make him think about Robin.

Some time later, Batman heard the door burst open. He drunkenly turned his head and tried to jump out of his chair. "Abdfgjkgn!" he slurred. "Robiondf!"
Robin walked into the room. He gasped audibly when he saw the state Batman was in.
"Batman, I - what's wrong? What's going on?" Robin rushed to Batman's side to help him up.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Batman shouted. Drunk, he was evermore fearsome. He drunkenly slapped Robin away but managed to hold on to his massive brandy glass. "Where - whereave youbeen?"
"Batman, I - "
"WHEREHAVEYOUBEEN?!! ANSWER ME!"
Robin's bottom lip quivered.
"It's that mango, isn't it? You've been off gallivanting with that floozy of a mango of yours, haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU?"
Robin looked away, tears in his eyes.
"LOOK AT ME."
Robin turned and looked Batman in the eye.
"Batman. Please. Let's sit down." He guided his drunken lost love to his leather chair and sat down in the other one.
"Batman, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I am in love with the mango."
Batman gasped in pain, no longer seething with rage, but wracked by despair.
"But Batman - I'm so confused by your reaction! I wasn't going to tell you right away, no - I was going to make sure the mango felt the same way I did, to ensure that our relationship would be a happy, stable one - but never in a million years did I expect you to react this way!"
Batman lifted his head and stared at Robin, his eyes puffy and red, glistening with tears. They were so red that Robin suspected he may have also been hitting the bong while he'd been gone.
Robin sighed. "Batman, I never would have done this if I'd known that you loved me the way I love you. I tried so long to hide it - oh god how I tried - but it was too painful, feeling your rejection over and over again. It just seemed like I'd never have your hotdog between my buns, and it made me miserable!" Now there were tears in Robin's eyes.
"No, Robin. I'm sorry. I've been a fool. I was just confused by my feelings - I'd always felt your eyes on my hot body, ravishing it - I just figured you admired my impressive physique. But then I started to feel something more from you, and I felt those feelings back. I just didn't know how to go about it. Because, of course, as you know, the Batmobile and I share a special sexual relationship. But that's completely normal, everyone fucks their car - I didn't know that it was okay to feel desire for people too."
"Batman, of course it's okay. I'm just glad that it's all out in the open and we can get on with our relationship." Robin looked at the mango. He no longer felt the same ecstatic passion for it that he had only hours earlier.
He picked the mango up, stroking its smooth, luscious skin, thinking of their shared passion.
"Mango, I'm sorry, but I think it's best if we see other people."
The mango said nothing.
"I know, I know, it's been wonderful. It's been a whirlwind! But it's Batman, it's always been him. I'm sorry, I'm sure you understand."
The mango did not reply.
"I knew you would understand. Can we still be friends?"
The mango sat there in silence, looking less impressive in the dim light of the library.
"Okay, mango, great. I'll always remember you fondly."

Chapter Five

"Oh Batman, that was wonderful. I'd always fantasised about this but I never thought it would be this good. And here's a secret - I always thought that your Batsuit bulge was exaggerated - but now I know the truth!"
"Yes, Robin...and now you know why I make you wear a suit made of lycra!"
They giggled like two German sissy-boys, which was appropriate, given that they were wearing frilly lederhosen S&M wear. They were basking in the afterglow of their passion, feeling absolutely spent in Batman's lovedungeon. The chains hanging from the ceiling, freshly used, dangled in the light breeze that passed through the barred window.
"Robin...I'm so glad that you're into this kinky shit as well. Because now that you're old enough, my love, I can tell you that every Saturday we have an S&M night! I can't wait to show you my fist of Adonis..."

ENDUT

How to Become an Artist.

A Serious One. Oh Yes.

siobhan & i while watching a pretentious wanker on tv wax lyrical about his lame art:

Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
PAINTING HAS THAT SORT OF QUALITY THAT INVITES THAT SORT OF, IRREVERENT TWITCH I SUPPOSE
Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
what a wanker!
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:29 p.m.):
haha
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:29 p.m.):
hahaha!
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:29 p.m.):
umm yeah a twitch
Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
it's like
Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
yeah mate i want to look at yr art i don't want to HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT IT
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:30 p.m.):
..i don't wanna look at his art no more
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:31 p.m.):
these artists are doing themselves a disservice when they open their mouths
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
haha
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
i didn't even see it
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
YES
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
EXACTLY
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
and the sad thing is that nearly every artist is like that
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
you read quotes of theirs and it's just pretentious wankery
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:31 p.m.):
yeah, they should not be encouraged
Grumplestiltskin says (10:32 p.m.):
it must take a certain type of person to become an artist
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:32 p.m.):
yes, a very self-indulgent person
Grumplestiltskin says (10:33 p.m.):
it's like, a). you must feel like you are tortured by society b). you must think that you are extremely intelligent c). you must think the worst of everything but yourself but act as if you think the worst of yourself as well
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:34 p.m.):
yes....... i think that is exactly right
Grumplestiltskin says (10:34 p.m.):
d). you must be able to go on hour-long spiels about what your art is "about" and about what it "is"
Grumplestiltskin says (10:34 p.m.):
e). you must be able to discuss your materials at length - this will bore everyone else but they will be so wowed at your art that they will be impressed at this also
Grumplestiltskin says (10:35 p.m.):
f). before you make it big, you must act as if your art is well rubbish
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:35 p.m.):
hahaha
Grumplestiltskin says (10:35 p.m.):
g). after you make it big, you must act as if your art is fucking revolutionary, with a capital F and a capital R
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
WTF
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
IS HE
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
TALKING
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
thats fucked
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
ABOUT
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
IT'S LIKE HES POSSESSED
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
oh my god
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
he's a genius
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
BY HIS OWN ASSHOLERY
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahah'
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
good one!
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
god
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
this makes me lose faith in art
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
i bet he's getting off at this right now!
Grumplestiltskin says (10:39 p.m.):
HAHAHA
Grumplestiltskin says (10:39 p.m.):
YES
Grumplestiltskin says (10:56 p.m.):
"there was a whole learning curve..."
Grumplestiltskin says (10:56 p.m.):
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:56 p.m.):
me too
Grumplestiltskin says (10:57 p.m.):
OMG
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:57 p.m.):
ugh i bet he bought those overalls & splattered paint on them on purpose
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:03 p.m.):
oh my god.. are you still listening to him?!
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:03 p.m.):
he's going on about this fucking mallet!
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:03 p.m.):
that he bought from mitre ten!
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
AAHHHH
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
omg
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
hahaha
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
ITS A WOODEN MALLET
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
YOU STUPID FUCK
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
"IT'S A BIT LIKE RUSSIAN CONSTRUCTIVIST"
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
YES!!! HAFSDI
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
when he said that i wanted to kill him!
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
ME TOO
Grumplestiltskin says (11:05 p.m.):
HES SUCH A BOGAN

oh the fun we had.

bibliography/quotes:

"and you know, you know really this is my, my consciousness, on the canvas, you know? it was very important for me then...and it still is. you know, i'm very influenced by my earlier work."

"in the late seventies there was this great lounge we'd go to, all the artists went there...we would listen to poetry, drink coffee - haha, lots of coffee! haha, yeah...we'd dissect springsteen lyrics and discuss our art and what was happening at the time."

"as a painter, i was very much in tune with what was going on. it was a very important time, socially, and it's really reflected in my work."

"that era, that era was just great. so much in the air at that time, the politics, the social condition, the music...it was just great for a budding young artist like myself."

"wow... why don't i just write a bunch of crap on blocks & call myself an artist?"

"actually wow brent, i just had a great idea for a new project. i'll write I. RON. NEE. on kid's building blocks."

"increasingly, i hear them say they're quite pleased with it."

"IT'S IN A SENSE DESIGNED SO THE VIEWER HAS TO PLACE THEMSELVES IN THE WORK."

"IN A SENSE, WHAT WE'RE ASKING HERE, IS WHAT IS A LANDSCAPE? WHERE DOES WILDERNESS END?"

"I DREAMT I WAS IN A ROOM FULL OF CHILDREN WEARING EUROPEAN SHOES"

"IT WAS A STRANGE LIGHT THE MOON MEN MOVED IN"

"humble cabbage"

See children. This is why I wonder. This is why I look up to the stars at night and ask, "Why is this kind of shit taken seriously?"

Softporn Trannies.

Seriously. What is WRONG with this site.
I mean, nice dresses and all, but really. I wouldn't pay that kind of money for them after THEY had been wearing them. The tribe of Softporn Trannies.

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7504larger.jpg
these are the kind of eyebrows that i hate - SO OVERPLUCKED.

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7526larger.jpg
she has a stupid gay face

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7530larger.jpg
were probably in some pr0no together

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7528larger.jpg
gives a whole new meaning to the word BLAAAAAAAARRRRGH
...nice dress though

http://www.unique-vintage.com/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=1735&osCsid=5e99l3liokkabsd9qqqtlq6864
ho ho ho

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7441larger.jpg
wrong on so many levels

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7285bernie2.JPG
?!!?!?!

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7506bronze.jpg
OH GOD.

http://www.unique-vintage.com/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=1705&osCsid=5e99l3liokkabsd9qqqtlq6864
oh for fuck sake.

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7464larger.jpg
'tis the return of michael jackson girl

http://www.unique-vintage.com/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=1616&osCsid=5e99l3liokkabsd9qqqtlq6864
http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7286larger.JPG
http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7287larger.JPG
..........the horror speaks for itself

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7324larger.jpg
oh yes, i think i'm bettie fucking page

http://www.unique-vintage.com/images/unique-vintage/7429larger.jpg
has a man-back