How to Become an Artist.

A Serious One. Oh Yes.

siobhan & i while watching a pretentious wanker on tv wax lyrical about his lame art:

Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
PAINTING HAS THAT SORT OF QUALITY THAT INVITES THAT SORT OF, IRREVERENT TWITCH I SUPPOSE
Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
what a wanker!
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:29 p.m.):
haha
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:29 p.m.):
hahaha!
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:29 p.m.):
umm yeah a twitch
Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
it's like
Grumplestiltskin says (10:29 p.m.):
yeah mate i want to look at yr art i don't want to HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT IT
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:30 p.m.):
..i don't wanna look at his art no more
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:31 p.m.):
these artists are doing themselves a disservice when they open their mouths
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
haha
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
i didn't even see it
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
YES
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
EXACTLY
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
and the sad thing is that nearly every artist is like that
Grumplestiltskin says (10:31 p.m.):
you read quotes of theirs and it's just pretentious wankery
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:31 p.m.):
yeah, they should not be encouraged
Grumplestiltskin says (10:32 p.m.):
it must take a certain type of person to become an artist
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:32 p.m.):
yes, a very self-indulgent person
Grumplestiltskin says (10:33 p.m.):
it's like, a). you must feel like you are tortured by society b). you must think that you are extremely intelligent c). you must think the worst of everything but yourself but act as if you think the worst of yourself as well
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:34 p.m.):
yes....... i think that is exactly right
Grumplestiltskin says (10:34 p.m.):
d). you must be able to go on hour-long spiels about what your art is "about" and about what it "is"
Grumplestiltskin says (10:34 p.m.):
e). you must be able to discuss your materials at length - this will bore everyone else but they will be so wowed at your art that they will be impressed at this also
Grumplestiltskin says (10:35 p.m.):
f). before you make it big, you must act as if your art is well rubbish
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:35 p.m.):
hahaha
Grumplestiltskin says (10:35 p.m.):
g). after you make it big, you must act as if your art is fucking revolutionary, with a capital F and a capital R
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
WTF
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
IS HE
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
TALKING
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
thats fucked
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
ABOUT
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
IT'S LIKE HES POSSESSED
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
oh my god
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
he's a genius
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
BY HIS OWN ASSHOLERY
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahah'
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
good one!
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
god
Grumplestiltskin says (10:38 p.m.):
this makes me lose faith in art
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:38 p.m.):
i bet he's getting off at this right now!
Grumplestiltskin says (10:39 p.m.):
HAHAHA
Grumplestiltskin says (10:39 p.m.):
YES
Grumplestiltskin says (10:56 p.m.):
"there was a whole learning curve..."
Grumplestiltskin says (10:56 p.m.):
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:56 p.m.):
me too
Grumplestiltskin says (10:57 p.m.):
OMG
Lady Brett Ashley says (10:57 p.m.):
ugh i bet he bought those overalls & splattered paint on them on purpose
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:03 p.m.):
oh my god.. are you still listening to him?!
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:03 p.m.):
he's going on about this fucking mallet!
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:03 p.m.):
that he bought from mitre ten!
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
AAHHHH
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
omg
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
hahaha
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
ITS A WOODEN MALLET
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
YOU STUPID FUCK
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
"IT'S A BIT LIKE RUSSIAN CONSTRUCTIVIST"
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
YES!!! HAFSDI
Lady Brett Ashley says (11:04 p.m.):
when he said that i wanted to kill him!
Grumplestiltskin says (11:04 p.m.):
ME TOO
Grumplestiltskin says (11:05 p.m.):
HES SUCH A BOGAN

oh the fun we had.

bibliography/quotes:

"and you know, you know really this is my, my consciousness, on the canvas, you know? it was very important for me then...and it still is. you know, i'm very influenced by my earlier work."

"in the late seventies there was this great lounge we'd go to, all the artists went there...we would listen to poetry, drink coffee - haha, lots of coffee! haha, yeah...we'd dissect springsteen lyrics and discuss our art and what was happening at the time."

"as a painter, i was very much in tune with what was going on. it was a very important time, socially, and it's really reflected in my work."

"that era, that era was just great. so much in the air at that time, the politics, the social condition, the music...it was just great for a budding young artist like myself."

"wow... why don't i just write a bunch of crap on blocks & call myself an artist?"

"actually wow brent, i just had a great idea for a new project. i'll write I. RON. NEE. on kid's building blocks."

"increasingly, i hear them say they're quite pleased with it."

"IT'S IN A SENSE DESIGNED SO THE VIEWER HAS TO PLACE THEMSELVES IN THE WORK."

"IN A SENSE, WHAT WE'RE ASKING HERE, IS WHAT IS A LANDSCAPE? WHERE DOES WILDERNESS END?"

"I DREAMT I WAS IN A ROOM FULL OF CHILDREN WEARING EUROPEAN SHOES"

"IT WAS A STRANGE LIGHT THE MOON MEN MOVED IN"

"humble cabbage"

See children. This is why I wonder. This is why I look up to the stars at night and ask, "Why is this kind of shit taken seriously?"