Things everyone should know:

- Chivalry is not dead or lame. It's actually totally awesome.
- Nice guys DON'T finish last.
- Not all margarine is vegan.
- Marmite is better than Vegemite.
- Some warped records actually play perfectly.
- Sapporo is the best Japanese beer.
- Condo Fucks' Fuckbook is an incredible record and I am really happy to have it back in my presence again.
- If you borrow something from someone, YOU are obligated to bring it back to them. It is seriously uncool to make someone go out of their way to get their own possessions back.
- Waking up at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep is really balls.

"Basketball: freakish giants with midget IQs "dunking" balls in macrame baskets that are the exact height of the players. Football: fat hogs knocking each other down and huddling to tell secrets that no one in his right mind would care to repeat. Boxing: ugly, notoriously underprivileged men beating each other up without the thrill of breaking the law. And skiing: eager-beaver masochists in polyester outfits anxious to break a leg in the name of fitness."

- John Waters on sports

"It's not me who's strange, it's the world around me. Do you really want to buy yourself a Ferrari cabriolet? A holiday home in Deauville, which will only get burgled anyway? To work ninety hours week until you're sixty? To pay half of everything you earn in tax to finance military operations in Kosovo, or recovery plans for the inner cities? We're happy here, we have everything we need in life. The only thing the Western world has to offer is designer products. If you believe in designer products, stay in the West."

- Michel Houellebecq, Platform

May/June 2012

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